why don't u smile when u r sad... :-(

Yesterday night was a bit odd day. After work at home, I felt really sorrow, and there was a black hole in my heart sucking all the soul that I had at the moment.

In the deafening silent, work hassle and and no one to talk to I got such a complete package!

For most I was afflicted by he's attitude from the past three days. We texting like usual but we didn't talk, and his sms was mostly plain typical lines.

Felt neglected by someone that you love wasn't a good feeling. U started to wonder what have you done wrong? aren't u not good enough? how long will he be a cold hearted? had u annoyed him in some ways? and was he planning to keep distance so that its easier to walk away....?, and slowly my eyes was watering more and more....

Dear....if it's love in some way...why do I need to work so hard for it...?

tell me..... and I kept on crying...thinking how can he be so peaceful when I was all worn out crying about how bad he was treating me..

But then.....something miracle happened. He called. I picked it up...still crying slower. Shocked, amazed or puzzled he asked why am I crying....I denied.

"Was it because of me?" he insisted.

"Is there any other reason for me to cry?"

"No....I don't think so, how long have u been crying?,"

"Why does it matter to u,"

"It does...I'm sorry..I know I am bad...But I didn't do it deliberately,"

"It's hurting, or else I don't wanna cry too. I'm hopeless, I've tried everything but it didn't work out...I've been asking u why but u said nothing is wrong...but why do I feel like I am stranger to u?"

"I'm sorry...Lately, I got mad at u really easily. Wasn't I"?

"I never heard u scold me even once. Unless the way u show your anger is by neglecting me..yes, I get that all the time."

"Ya...I was actually mad at u. That's what I do when I get mad.

"Why didn't u tell me that u mad at me so that I can fixed it. Instead, u rather punish me and make me suffer without me knowing why...Was it some sort of revenge and you'll be happy when i'm crying?

"No. It wasn't anything like that. I did it out of anger but I still love u... I'm sorry....I feel something wrong before that's why I call....and u r crying...."

"Let's play chess."

"Okay dear..don't cry anymore.."

And we played chess half way...we talked again and he promised me he would change... Or at least find a better way to show his anger.....

Okey....I know I was like preparing an essay for a romance novel. But yeah who cares, I need to keep it in a record so that I won't forget how sad I was.... And learn something out of it...